If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
