Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Randomize
