Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
