i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
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