i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
