You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
