Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
