Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
