Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
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