With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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