She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
