so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Randomize
