haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Randomize
