He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
