Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
