My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
