I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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