Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
