i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Randomize
