i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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