Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
