porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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