That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
