Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
