You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
