4 words: hood of his car
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
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