Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Randomize
