What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
