What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
