sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
