so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
