she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
