just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Operation Purity has been aborted
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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