I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
