i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Let's get the cat blown out
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
