I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
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