I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
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