they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
