jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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