Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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