first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
