dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
