roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
