dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
