I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
