Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
