I'm eating all of the evidence.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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