I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
