these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
