so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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